Don't ever put yourself in the position where your choices are determined by the fact that you are dependent on anyone, not even if he is your husband and especially not the people you work for.
Most of the time, most of us hate our jobs but we can't choose to just up and leave because we are slaves... we ensalve ourselves through poor choices: putting ourselves so deep in debt that there is no end to it not even in the very distant future, not being smart in dealing with our day to day finances, being slack in the way that we raise our children and failing to make conscious decisions now, decisions that will affect the rest of our lives or at least affect us somewhere down the line, being slack in your job, not taking every opportunity to learn new things, always improving.
The Israelites of the time of Moses spent 40 years in the desert because they were foolish. A trip that should have taken them no more than a week, took them 40 years because they chose not to do the right thing especially when they really needed to be doing the right thing. They acted our of emotions and most of them failed to see the promise of God fulfilled in their lives because of bad choices. Some of them even died in the desert. Don't be like those Israelites, perhaps your promised land is closer than you think and the one thing keeping you in the desert is yourself. Whether you die in the desert or die fulfilling your destiny, your fate is ultimately in your hands.
This is especially for the ladies, please consider:
- If you have been working for the last 10 years and every year, have not added a new skills to your CV then you are failing yourself
- When considering marriage:
- don't marry a man who doesn't have a J O B, don't even date a guy who doesn't have a J O B, whilst love can conquer all; you cannot fill a role that was never intended for you, women are not called to be providers. Have the ability to take care of yourself and your children, hell yeh for sure but YOU ARE NOT CALLED TO BE YOUR HUSBAND'S PROVIDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- don't marry a man who cannot put a real diamond on your finger, (this will be a tell tale sign of all the things he won't be able to do for you, the things husbands are called to do for their wives)
- When in marriage:
- don't try to change your spouse, don't run to the phone when he fails you, run to the throne... let God deal with him - I can testify to this as this is what I did and God gave me beauty for ashes!
- it is a good thing to listen to godly counsel but pray for your situation and when faced with those BIG life changing decisions, let the Holy Spirit be your guide - I was told by more than one godly counsellor to leave my husband because they saw what he was doing and they saw how hard it was for me but I prayed without ceasing, walked in righteousness and God gave me the strength and the grace that I needed, the Holy Spirit led me to make the right decisions and our situation did a complete 360!
- at the same time, don't go for counselling if you are not willing to do what you need to do to change your situation... do you know how draining it is for people who take the time to sit and listen to you and spend their precious time praying for you then you still don't do the right thing... don't be that girl/guy!
- don't judge your partner
- practise unconditional love
- tell your partner everything and don't do or say anything you wouldn't do or say in from of him/her
- marriage is not give and take... it is give give give... in a nutshell; you each have a role that you are called to fill, fulfill your role as wife / husband and give give give to your spouse
- if your spouse is not fulfilling their role, God will take care of you - don't look to anyone else to do that please!!
- PRIORITISE!!!! God, You, Your Husband, Your Children then Your Job... it is not your job to take care of ANYONE else and you won't be held accountable for ANYONE else.
- You will be held accountable for your husband & kids - this is a biblical fact. Nowhere in the bible does it say anything about one being responsible for one's parents, inlaws or siblings but the bible is crystal clear about our role as spouses and parents. Yes we are to honour our parents and if you are by the means to take care of them financially, by all means do but your primary responsibility is to your spouse and your own children.
- Your job is what you do it is not who you are and you must never choose work over your family. Moms don't ever choose your job over a sick child!
- If you are working for a boss and find yourself in need don't ask your boss for help, ask God - God is your provider, not your boss... your boss pays your salary but God promises to supply ALL your needs. Pray for discernment!
- If you are a single mother who has a problematic or dead beat baby daddy, partner with God to raise your kids and look to Him to supply all your needs. When your baby daddy does you wrong, don't run to the phone, don't run to mainetanance court, run to the throne. That judge can't force him to step up, that judge can't change his heart and his ways but God can! {I can testify to this because it is what I did and our situation was completely turned around}. God will give you everything and more... I believe God has a soft spot for single mothers.
- Single mothers, don't keep that baby daddy from seeing his kids unless he is a physical threat to them. No matter how big the L on his forhead is, kids need their fathers in their lives. Those of us who grew up with father have issues, it is normal and we got over those issues. A child needs to know their father, good or bad. At the end of the day when your kids are grown they are going to look to your for answers, they will ask you what you did to bridge the gap between them and their dads... and tell the truth because it has a way of always coming out in the end!
You have to succeed when you commit your plans to God, this is a biblical promise. God gave you everything you need to fulfill your purpose and ultimately your destiny so be brave, be wise, walk in truth and be free!
